The Spark of a Great Dad

Sometimes little sparks can start big fires.

What does your use of your time communicate to your kids?

I’ll admit, I was spoiled by a dad who set a great example for me to follow.

My dad spent time with each of his three kids (me and my two sisters) in ways that were meaningful and special to each of us individually.  He coached sports teams for all us in our elementary years, and diversified his time with us as we got older and our tastes and personalities changes.  For me, that was spending time hiking with him.  For one of my sisters, it was following pro sports.  For the other, it was pursuing 4-H and show steer greatness.

Dad was physically fit enough to keep up with all of our activities, whether it was wrestling with us as kids, playing town team basketball and running with my high-school teammates, skiing with us on a 4-H ski day, or hiking for hours up and down the sides of rough mesa country.

Although I never saw him personally nurturing his relationship with God (seeing him in prayer or reading his Bible) I saw him give up countless Saturdays to service projects at church and other community service projects.

My dad died from heart disease when he was 57, six years ago.

I’m 37 years old.  What if I only have 20 more years to spend investing in my  kids?

Huge Aside: Yes, there have been several big “What If’s” in my last several blogs, but I’d rather prayerfully wrestle with these potential realities than try to sweep them under the rug.

Granted, I’m not a doctor and I con’t play one on TV.  I don’t know the ins and outs of how his heart valve stopped working.  I don’t know if its genetic and headed my way or not.

To be the best dad I can be, and to be a good steward of the time God has given me (whether it’s one, twenty, or fifty years)  I have identified 4 things I must be proactive about.

1.  Proactively nurturing my relationship with Jesus and intentionally modeling and teaching my sons what its about.  I need to be spending more and more time in prayer, in the Word, reading Christian books, listening to great music… and my sons need to see me doing it.  My relationship with Jesus can’t be behind closed doors and so private that its a mysterious concept that preacher dad talks about on Sunday

2.  Proactively spending quality time with each son doing what he likes.  One boy loves to dance and watch movies.  One boy loves to hike and create stuff with Legos.  They all love to wrestle!  Sometimes I spend time with each boy, but sometimes I make them share my time and do what the others may like to do, even when its not their favorite. I’ve noticed a direct correlation between the amount of time we play together and how well and smooth evenings and bedtimes go.

3.  Proactively teaching my sons valuable life skills  (even if its not their favorite thing to do).  My dad and I played a lot of sports together, and as a result, I’m pretty coordinated and can “fit in” in most kinds of pick-up games.  However, we didn’t spend a lot of time building stuff and fixing stuff together.  I’ve picked up some basic carpentry, plumbing, and fix-it skills from friends and co-workers, but I would have rather learned that stuff from my dad.  I make it a point to drag my boys out with me on projects now.  They still are a little young, but they amaze me at how they are able to help out more and more with each project as they get stronger and smarter.

4.  Proactively getting more physically fit.  My boys are 4, 7, and 8 years old.  I can still take ’em when it’s wrestle time.  What about 10 years from now?  What about 5 years from now?  I don’t just want to be able to keep with them as we hike and rock climb, but I want them to be keeping up with me.  I must schedule time in to get stronger in the gym and build up the cardio out on the trails with my huskies.

For you dads, and you moms, out there: what do you need to proactive about? Spending less time in front of a screen and more time out in the real world?  Shedding a few pounds so you can do the really fun stuff with your kids?  Deepening your relationship with Jesus and passing that passion to your kids?